"This sounds like an idea for privileged white males who can afford to do these things. You know what I mean, right?" my close friend told me after I attempted to explain the pathless path to her.
Those words hit me like a rock. I felt betrayed by her. She was supposed to be my close friend. I wish she had understood or asked more questions instead of giving her expert opinion on what it sounds like.
Worse than that, I felt I had done a huge disservice to Paul Millerd by failing to explain his philosophy to my friend. I even questioned myself if I really understood it in the first place.
My real and online world had collided with me sandwiched in between them. I treasured my friendship. I should not have taken her criticism about some online creator to my heart.
But, Paul was not just some online creator.
Paul had become a literal overnight idol for me in the wee hours of September 28, 2022. I had just finished his book, The Pathless Path and was lying on my bed feeling a sense of lightness like never before. I had not felt seen like that in a long time. It was like coming across a mystical guide who knew exactly what was going on in my head and validated my feelings with his words of wisdom. His writing gently untangled the knots of confusion in my head and made me feel I was going to be okay.
That was the first lesson of the pathless path I learned in the first few pages itself when Paul wrote, "To me, the pathless path was a mantra to reassure myself I would be okay."
Whenever I am unable to sleep because of anxious thoughts about my pathless path, I revisit the highlights of the book to get the same reassurance and fall asleep.
What is the pathless path?
Paul proposes the pathless path as an alternative to traditional work philosophy. It is a way to reimagine your relationship with your work. It is a shift from the idea that "work sucks'' to the possibility that "you can design a life around liking work."
Some people mistakenly think of it as another book on escaping a sucky corporate job to discover your purpose and play around with creator economy and entrepreneurship.
One of the Amazon reviews of the book is titled, "boring, nothing happens". It says,
"It looked like an interesting book about someone discovering their purpose. The actual book is a boring slog thru the writers career. He got a corporate job that was boring and soulless? Wow, what a shocker."
If you ask me, this mean, trying-hard-to-be-sarcastic reviewer has missed the entire point of the pathless path.
The pathless path is not about Paul's career or a boring story of escaping his soulless job in McKinsey.
It is a deeply spiritual yet practical exploration of what it means to come alive in the modern world. It is about how you can embrace the discomfort of uncertainty and lean into your creativity and a sense of wonder. It is about getting okay with the idea of getting lost to figure out what you have to offer in this one, wild, precious life. It is about experiencing profound personal growth through a series of small, creative experiments.
In many ways, The Pathless Path is what you make out of it and how you interpret the ideas of coming alive and personal growth.
It is to make you think of your personal pathless path.
Story of my pathless path
In a way, my pathless path had started even before I had heard of Paul Millerd.
By the time I read The Pathless Path, it had already been 4 months since I quit my marketing job in an ecommerce startup selling Ayurvedic products. This period was initially supposed to be a break from full-time work during which I wanted to do a method acting course toward my dream of acting in movies that had dominated my mind for years.
I read the book after that course ended. I was struggling with the decision to choose between two options: start looking for a job once again or continue to make the freelancing/self-employment thing work.
The first choice was safe and comfortable.
I might have taken some time to find another job again. It'd have definitely made my parents happier who were expecting me to get settled (read: married) soon. But, I had no intentions of tying a knot. I had to first untangle the knots in my head and heart. Figure out what makes me come alive and happy, before I fall into the trap of outsourcing this responsibility to someone else.
The second choice looked uncertain yet exciting.
I could not plan my next milestones in terms of career growth. There was no corporate ladder to climb. It was about discarding the ladder altogether and reimagining what walls I wanted to climb. It involved surrender and a leap of faith.
I chose the second path and decided to stay self-employed.
Much to my happiness (and my parent's disappointment), I realized recently that this path also provided a default protection against arranged marriage as most Indian parents of prospective partners don't want to go ahead with someone who doesn't have a 'good' package at a 'prestigious' company. :D
Developing a positive version of freedom
I did not find another full-time job again, not because I did not like my work in writing and content marketing. It was not really frustrating. I had worked on those skills and somewhat enjoyed implementing them at work.
I chose the second path because of freedom.
Freedom of time. Freedom to do the work that is not just "not-frustrating" but which can make me come alive. Freedom to pursue big dreams that energized me. I no longer wanted to sell Ayurvedic products online even though I was trained to do so. I could not go back to the mundane routine of 10 to 7 that drained the life out of me by the end of the day.
Paul talks about a similar concept and refers to it as a challenge of developing a positive version of freedom.
It means "freedom to engage with the world that is true to yourself" and take the responsibility to realize your true potential. In contrast, the negative version of freedom is where there is "freedom from outside control" but no intrinsic sense of freedom to make your own decisions.
Over the past 11 months, I have had a small glimpse of the positive version of freedom.
I no longer feel the dreadful sense of slow suffocation inside the walls of the office. I love the luxury of watching a sunset by the beach every day if I want instead of waiting for it till the weekend because I cannot leave the office before 7. I can immerse myself in a course like Write of Passage that would not have been possible if I had a full-time job.
Yes, freelance work is uncertain and that can be scary.
Sometimes when a project ends or a deal does not work out, I have sleepless, anxious nights.
But that is part of the deal. I am getting used to the uncertainty while I nurture my creativity, curiosity, and faith to live a life that is aligned to my potential and personal growth.
It is a lesson in spirituality where I am learning to let go of certainty and become equanimous.
In fact, this is where The Pathless Path really shines.
The pathless path is the closest you can get to practical spirituality
When I read Paul’s book, I could not help but draw comparisons to my understanding of spirituality.
Just after I had quit my job last year, I went for my second Vipassana retreat (a 10-day silent meditation camp).
Three main lessons from Vipassana that stood out were impermanence, awareness, and equanimity.
Impermanence is the default state of nature. Change is the only constant in the world. Many of our sufferings arise because we cannot deal with the change.
The key to realize this impermanence is awareness. When you meditate, you become aware of the thoughts and physical sensations that happen due to the interaction between the six senses (five senses + mind) and the environment.
Equanimity towards those sensations, whether they feel good or bad, is the objective of the spiritual practice. On a day-to-day level, we develop cravings for good sensations and aversion to bad ones. In this process, we create deep-rooted samskaras. This becomes the root of attachment and suffering. The key is to practice non-judgmental awareness of these sensations and let them go.
I realized Paul was also talking about these lessons but in a practical way beyond meditation.
According to Paul, people on the traditional path often trade existential fears of life with certainty. The pain of uncertainty and not knowing where you are going is too much.
Instead, it feels comfortable and secure to play safe.
But, only by leaning into the uncertainty with a sense of wonder, profound personal growth can happen.
This is similar to the spiritual path where the goal is to realize the impermanence while staying centered and equanimous.
Impermanence is your constant companion on the pathless path.
You embrace uncertainty to pursue creative projects and small “experiments in living”. It is not about a certain end goal of earning a promotion or reaching a higher salary package. It is about "coming alive over getting ahead."
If some experiments fail, which they will at some point or the other, you don’t see them as failures.
You learn your lessons and move on to the next experiment that sparks your curiosity. You remain equanimous and get one step closer to the work that can make you come alive with excitement.
The pathless path is not about being able to afford certain things as my close friend had assumed so. Sure, I'd love to travel and shift to a new country (and maybe find a partner there who is aligned with my values, just like Paul did! :D) and work from pretty locations (and sometimes show off on Instagram!).
The pathless path is about being able to afford the cost of uncertainty to live actively and spontaneously. It is about reclaiming your agency. It is an aspirational journey to find "the great work of your life" that you want to keep doing. It is about experiencing everything that comes your way when you let go of the certainty and open yourself to the possibilities. It is a personal path to realize your true potential.
I don’t know yet what that “great work” looks like for me.
I am still learning to imbibe these lessons in my life. I have just begun to reclaim my agency and the freedom of time. In many ways, I feel attached to only one experiment at present — pursue acting while making enough from self-employment. I am also unsure at present if that is the path to unlock my true potential.
But, I am sure I can afford the cost of uncertainty to walk the pathless path.
And I know that I will be okay.
A huge shoutout to
for validating this idea and Lavinia Iosub, , and Tom Gole for giving their suggestions and feedback on this piece!!! ❤️🙌If you heard about Paul Millerd for the first time and have read this till the end, I am sure you’d love reading The Pathless Path. You can also subscribe to his newsletter called Boundless for his unexpected takes on the modern world of work.
Yes, you will be okay. More than okay I suspect. It takes courage to be comfortable with uncertainty.
Emergent missions are way more fulfilling then assigned missions.